Momentum Minute #2 - 3 steps for efficient friendship networking, odd caffeine withdrawals.

Author

Mike Rapadas
May 08, 2024

A new skill I'm learning - Friendship networking

I’ve met so many people at social networking events. Many of them have vented to me about this one thing: Even when they vibe with someone, they often never end up meeting outside the event.

Lost opportunities! I’ve been there. But through trial and error, I’ve found an approach that built a budding friend group in NYC within 2 weeks of moving here.

Here’s the 3 steps that made it happen:

1. Be forward. Be specific.

Who or what are you looking for? You’d be surprised at how late you find this out in a typical networking conversation. Ask everyone this question, and make sure to share your answer too.

Example:

  • You: “Hi, I’m NAME. What brings you to the meetup?”

  • Them: “nothing in particular, just want to meet cool people to hangout with” (soft, lame answer)

  • You: “Totally. I’m hoping to find people that I can discuss my favorite health podcasts with. Do you know of anyone?”

This will enable you to skip to the important part. Then start (or end) the conversation from there.

Someone might be looking for friends to play pickleball with, when you actually hate racket sports and you’re looking for a nerdy book club.

Maybe you’re not exactly the right fit. All good. Don’t force the fit. Just move on! Instant time and effort savings.

2. Go in with a follow-up activity or two.

New connections die because they don’t have the time and space to grow. That time and space is at the next hangout. But someone’s gotta bring it to the table. From now on, that someone is you.

Usually, Whit and I like to plan group activities. Else, if you meet 3 cool people, you’re looking at 3 one-on-one friend dates next week. This can quickly get exhausting. Also, group activities are more fun. The magic number for us has been 5 people max. Any more than that becomes too difficult to manage and conversations tend to stay in isolated pockets.

Some ideas: food, coffee, go out for drinks, kayaking on Saturday, a hike, intro salsa lessons.

3. If it doesn’t happen within the next week, it’ll never happen.

Now that you’ve found a person you’d like to get to know better, the last step is to close the sale.

Excitement decays quickly. Strike the fire while it’s hot. Give a specific date and time that you both commit to right then and there. Bonus: ask the person to bring a friend.

A habit I'm trying to break - Caffeine

As I write this, I’ve gone 7 days without caffeine. My previous intake wasn’t super high - about 2 cups of coffee per day. But, I was definitely dependent.

I got inspired by my manager’s caffeine detox experience. She told me how great she’s been feeling. I decided that I want to feel great too.

While each day gets better, the withdrawal symptoms are taking an odd progression:

Day

Symptoms

Unlocks

0

Sleepy (3 naps), anxious, spaced out, tunneled vision.

None

1

Unclear poop signals, felt like a zombie, trouble finding words, socially anxious.

Slightly more “chill” and calm.

2

Slightly more procrastination than usual, heavy post-lunch lull.

Socially calm and centered. Slightly more clear headed.

3

First headaches (debilitating) for 5 hours @ 6.5/10 intensity.

Less mental chatter.

4

Access to “chill” flow- able to calmly stay on task.

5

External triggers like feeling as if I’m forgetting something after breakfast (coffee was the usual post-meal ritual)

Woke up feeling wide awake without any grogginess.

Energy was even for most of the day (except for up to 1 hour after a meal)

6

Feel super rested. Energy seemed to ramp up even more as the day progressed. (minus a post lunch lull)

Banger of the week - MILLION DOLLAR BABY by Tommy Richman

Head-bobbin’, dirty-face-makin’ funk. This track made it into my Concise Songs playlist. These are songs that don’t do more than they need to. They express one main idea really well and then they end (usually 3 minutes long or less). They leave you wanting more, so you end up replaying them.

Photo of the week - Work from the 60th floor

Work from the 60th floor

That’s it for this week!

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